The armrest on an economy class seat is the most valued inch on a plane. This thin little strip of sacred territory is undoubtedly the cause of more in-flight angst than anything else.
So does anyone have any tried and true strategies for sharing this little slice of heaven with the armrest hogs that seem to have taken over every airplane that flies?
Is there some sort of proper etiquette for armrest arm-wrestling? If so, please feel free to share them, because I’m at a complete loss.
First, some background information. Many people cite the following as vital to success: “timing is everything” and, “location, location, location.” I guess I’m not destined to be successful because it seems that these days, my timing and location are less than ideal.
As for timing, it seems I always get on airplanes that are populated by people who view that narrow little space as the next great territory to conquer and occupy. Regarding location, without a doubt, I always find myself sitting next to, or between, guys who make pro football players look scrawny.
Forget about claiming half of the armrest. I consider myself lucky if they’re not halfway into my seat.
I’ve tried reclining my seatback and sneaking my elbow onto the back half of the armrest — doesn’t work.
Next, I try leaning forward and attempting to use the front half of the armrest. Equally ineffective.
So on my next flight, I’m considering the following approach:
If I’m the first seated, immediately claim the half-inch of space on my side of the armrest. If seated later, and my neighbor’s arm is draping over to my side, I might give one of these strategies a shot: 1) Open up my newspaper (oh so casually), spread it wide open while simultaneously brushing against his arm or, 2) Lean over and adjust my under-seat luggage. When sitting back up, spread my shoulders and sit back with authority. 3) As a last resort, sneeze on his arm.
Without a doubt, these days we travelers are getting “squeezed” in more ways than we could ever imagine. The result? Getting upset over petty stuff. It must be a desperate attempt to try to hold on to that last bit of something we used to be able to control: our personal space. And that’s rapidly disappearing.
What’s the answer? I’m working on controlling the space between my ears and cultivating a more positive attitude. Be grateful I have a job. Be grateful I arrived at my destination safely. Be grateful my family is healthy. But it is a constant, internal battle.
As Aristotle said, “What soon grows old? Gratitude.”
Doug Lipp is the author of Stuck in the Middle Seat.
