8 reasons not to travel

Only 38 percent of USA residents have a passport and use only 51 percent of our vacation time. While I envision that people work and look forward to some grand vacation, apparently not.
Even though I think it is dumb NOT to travel, I will brainstorm possible reasons not to travel, told from the viewpoint of a fictitious US worker.

8 Reasons NOT to Travel

1. I love work. Taking a trip means missing the office gossip, football pools, birthday celebrations, water cooler chit chat, and lunches. [Ed. Note. Perhaps you are involved in a secret affair. Shhh, I will not tell.]
2. I cannot miss work. I am so essential to my company, or at least I think I am, that I cannot take any time off. Or, I amassed so much student loan debt that I cannot afford to take a vacation and must keep working. [Ed. Note. Ahhh, the American Dream.]
3. I do not like change. Home to work to gym (or bar or wherever) to home. That is my routine and it works fine. I do not need to see any new places.
4. The world is scary. The news always shows scary things happening around the world so I will just stay in my comfortable surroundings. I am sure that foreigners would like nothing more than to harm me. My grandfather/great uncle/whoever fought in a war and said there is no greater place in the world than good ole USA. That is good enough for me.
5. USA is perfect. God bless America, He shed his grace on us and all that. Why go anywhere else?

6. Travel Hassles. Security lines are too long, I will have to take off my shoes, they may search me, and other people are clueless. Then the airplane is horrible — seats are too cramped, people are smelly, flight attendants are unfriendly, I have to fight for overhead storage space, and I have to pay for everything.

7. Travel is expensive. If I go somewhere, I need to stay in an expensive, safe place so that I will not be kidnapped by rebels. I will probably eat in my fancy hotel restaurant since the street vendors, food markets, and grocery stores do not have the same high standards as places near my house.
8. Travel will make me sick. Everyone gets sick when flying across the ocean. If I am lucky to survive the flight, then I will catch some disease from a cab driver, tour guide, or anyone I do not know. Don’t drink water in Mexico, don’t eat fruit in India. CDC should just tell people not to travel outside the United States.
Do you know of any other reasons NOT to travel?
On the other hand —